look at me                                                                   as though I shine brighter                                       than all the stars in the sky

and I will give you the world. 

You look at me
with those sad eyes
and I melt

every time.

You touch my lower back
and pull me in close
telling me you have to go

it is that time.

You kiss me
i try my best at clever and cute
as we say sweet good-byes

until next time.

Existential Afternoon

There is no winning

no consolation prizes

in this life.

We go through the motions

each activity labeled and ordered

in some order

of pretend importance

to distract

from what we don’t want to see.

That we all got it wrong.

So we rise again,

to the buzzing on our phones

to focus on our screens and our treasures.

Thinking some day, some way

things will change and it’ll all be fair.

This is no game

and no one is keeping score.

Kiss the ones you love

and chase the moon

you won’t catch it, but you’ll have fun trying.

We sit.

Holding hands across the table.

Staring into each others eyes,

I turn away. Caught between

embarrassment and elation.

I notice the freckles on your wrist,

peeking out from your sleeve

and

imagine where else they may be.

You kiss my shoulder.

I kiss your neck.

Every touch is better than the last.

I drink in every word you say

every eyebrow raise, nervous laugh

delighted in it all.

In you.

 

Where have you been?

im a shell of who i used to be
empty, sad and longing
not sure of how
I’ll fill myself back up again.
this world eats you up
and spits you out
a cycle of endings and beginnings.
I can’t see anything
the light, the truth, the start of the next chapter.
I just feel the weight of the past and the certainty
that whatever new begins
will end, too.